Past, Present Future

I know I’ve written blogs about this in the past and I probably will end up writing blogs about it again in the future. I don’t like thinking about the past. I have done things that I am not proud of. I spend time with people I wish I didn’t spend time with and sometimes these negative thoughts come creeping back into my mind. It’s the typical questions that just keep going around and around and the more you’re like why am I thinking about this it’s in the past it doesn’t even matter anymore the more frustrated I find myself getting.

For me I know time is precious I don’t have the time to waste on people who don’t treat me right or make me feel good. I know that sounds selfish but it’s true. I know we’ve got the opportunity to learn from every situation I learn new things every day and am grateful for all of the incredible experiences I’ve had in life but there are a few situations that make me so angry. Even now years after I am angry. I guess when someone hurts you it takes a long time to get over it and maybe sometimes you just don’t get over it. Maybe it’s something you just have to learn to accept and one day someone will distract you enough to forget about the time your heart was ripped from you. (figuratively obviously).

The thing I find most frustrating about life is the expectations. You’re expected to have done these things by this age. You’re sitting at uni/sitting in class staring out the window dreaming of one day selling out a show at Madison Square Garden while everyone else is just thinking about which party they’re going to attend in the weekend. Your friends are all buying houses and getting married while you’re still trying to work out if you even like the job you’re doing. It’s crazy how tables turn. It’s strange how some things happen so quickly yet sometimes you just want to forget things and you can’t.

Moving on is one of the hardest things you have to do and yeah you’re going to get hurt. You’re going to get messed up. You’re going to struggle to get out of bed in the morning. Some days you just won’t want to face the world I mean one day you’re probably going to cry in front of your boss. One day someone will break up with you on the night of your graduation. One day someone will break up with you on the day you’re launching a business and you’re hosting the launch event. One day someone will break up with you when you’re least expecting it, when you can least tolerate it.

The thing I’ve come to understand in life is that every person is different. Every friendship, relationship, situation, moment is unique nothing will ever be the same as right now. I won’t ever feel this exact same feeling again. Every single little thing we do in life is completely different to the things that we will do and experience in the future.

That being said we have to experience things to know what we want. Unfortunately that means heart break. It means falling for people hard and fast and having to pick ourselves up again. It means having friendships that don’t continue. It means living in different cities and sometimes being away from the people that we care most about. It means thinking about other people for a change. Sometimes it’s even about being selfish. It’s about following your heart. Achieving your dreams. Experiencing life. Being kind. Being caring. Being real. It’s about you, your journey and where you want to end up. It’s about knowing you’ve got the strength to eventually get there.

Don’t give up.

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