The Epiphany

Sometimes we have to make difficult decisions, sometimes someone makes a difficult decision for us and other times we don’t realise we need to make a decision, someone makes a decision for us and it ends up being the best thing for the both of you. It’s hard in life to fully understand the things that are going on around us. We get caught up in one particular thing or we just lose focus on the end goal. What ever the situation I guess what I am trying to say is we get lost along the way.

For me my dream has always been to host a radio show. Last year I was offered my dream job hosting the night show for a radio station in New Zealand. When I was offered the position I was ecstatic. This was the job I had been working towards my entire life. The past few months have been so exciting but extremely confusing at the same time. I am the kind of person who overthinks everything. If you’ve read any of my previous blogs this is probably something you have already established. If you are new hi thanks for reading. Anyway what I am trying to say is like anything a new role can be unsettling there is a lot of guessing going on as you learn the ropes. There is a lot of uncertainty as you try and find your feet. You will question why you got the role you most definitely will question if you’re the best person for the job. What you need to remember is your boss chose you for a reason. You have a gift or a talent which is why you deserve the position you are working. While you might be the best person for the job by no means does that say that you have all of the skills right now. Your boss sees potential in you. You will make mistakes in the first few months, the most important thing is you learn from these mistakes. With every day you will gain confidence with every mistake is a lesson with every lesson is the ability to grow and to branch out from your comfort zone. This is where you will truly flourish. Don’t be afraid to push the boundaries and try new things.

When making decisions about career always remember that only you know your dreams. Only you can decide if this move is right for you. Only you can try. Trying is the best thing we can do as humans if it doesn’t work out you just re-evaluate your path and figure out a new plan of attack. My motto in life is it’s better to try something and realise it isn’t right than to spend the rest of your life wondering. Sometimes you need to take the chance and sometimes you just know. Have the confidence to make a decision and stick with it.

Relationships are an area which I find the most fascinating. While in most areas of life you are fully in control relationships you’re only ever 50% in control. While it’s nice to know what you partner is thinking and how they’re feeling the truth is they only ever reveal what they want you to know. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to read their thoughts. No! Don’t think like that. Relationships require trust. Relationships are built from a foundation and if the foundation has impurities the building won’t last. None of my relationships have lasted and yeah sometimes I get bitter about it, I am human everyone gets lonely every now and again.

My relationships haven’t worked out for various reasons. As a relationship ends I always get upset. If it is a relationship I realise isn’t right I always second guess my decision I wonder if I am being too harsh. I wonder if I am just not supposed to be in a relationship at all. Various thoughts bombard my mind. In those situations where it isn’t my decision I am usually the most upset. Usually because I haven’t seen the break up coming. I find it hard when I see so much good in another person, when I enjoy their company so much I wonder why that has to go away. Simple answer be friend but not every relationship ends on the terms of a friendship. Sometimes you try and it just doesn’t work out for what ever reason. Sometimes you need some time to go away and focus on yourself to chase your dreams. To put all of your energy into something that you love. To support your friends and family. Months will pass you will continue to think about that person there will be days where you think about texting them and seeing how they are. Maybe they will even text you. You will be excited your mind will race and you will contemplate you response if they asked to see you, or better yet if you could pick things up where you left off. I hate to break it to you but this story doesn’t have the fairy tale ending. Sometimes you need the text to realise your life is on track. That person that you cared so much about doesn’t really care about you enough to even ask how you are. That’s not what you deserve. It’s not how someone who loved you should treat you. I guess what I am saying in this situation is sometimes in life we don’t get to make the decisions. Sometimes people make decisions on our behalf at the time it is upsetting. You will feel lost, deflated and sometimes you will feel like you aren’t good enough. This is one of life’s best lessons. One day you will understand why you never got to make that decision. You weren’t strong enough to make the decision at the time but you were always strong enough to live with it’s consequences. In time you begin to realise that everything happens for a reason and the reason will reveal itself when you least expect it to.

I’m hoping this random late night rant makes some sense and that you will take away a thought, idea or even an experience that you can relate to and make sense of what is going on in your world. I hope this is the week where you find some clarity where the haze passes and that you can refocus on what’s truly important. All the best on the constant quest to find happiness. Make time for yourself this week to do something just for you. Whether it be going for a massage, taking yourself out for a coffee or even just setting aside 10 minutes to listen to your favourite song a couple of times.

All the best for a magical week.

Cam x

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