Do you ever feel weird for no particular reason. You wake up in the morning and you just don’t really feel that present. It’s like your mind is trying to figure something out but you just can’t put your finger on what it is that you are trying to decipher? I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this lately and I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t really know who I am. But that got me thinking how do you ever know who you really are. The more I think about who am I the more I feel confused.
I don’t really think there is one or two things that describe who I am. People are like onions. We have layers. We have an exterior layer which is our appearance. For some people this is the only layer they get to experience. These are the people you pass walking in the street. Then there are the people who get the second layer. I call this the small talk layer. These are the people you might talk to once or twice but there isn’t much substance to the conversation. It’s small talk. The more time you spend with someone the more you get to know about them the more layers they reveal and because conversations are a two way thing the more you reveal to them. People are very complex there is no wrong or right amount of layers. There’s no way to know who you should reveal your layers to. We just have to walk our way through life and do our best to protect ourselves and the people we care about.
Each and every one of us are made up from our values and beliefs. Whether it be something structured like religion or vegetarianism. These are things that have expectations rules or guides to keep you on the right track. Then there are the things that we learn in life like treat other people how you would like to be treated or keeping an open mind. These things are a grey area they are individual to you and what you have experienced in life so far. I feel with every day and every person we meet we are exposed to more and more diversity. One of the most amazing things in life is diversity. The ability to learn from another person who has experienced something without having to go through that experience ourselves. How often do we get the opportunity to learn from someone else’s mistakes or experiences.
I don’t know if this is just me or if other people feel the same way but when I am working on something it’s important for me to know when something has been completed. When you have completed something you can walk away and be happy with the finished product. You can be proud of the work that you have done. I think that’s something that I struggle with working in radio. Each day I step into a studio for 5 hours but when the show is finished it’s almost as though nothing has happened. The show has been and gone, while it might have been a great show I do lack a sense of accomplishment. No matter what you are doing think about what it is that you do and why you do it. I think it’s super important to have a purpose. Figure out what that purpose is and drive passion into what you do.
I think a massive part of who we are is being proud of ourselves. You don’t need to stand on a rooftop and scream your successes or even have your name in lights. It’s about accepting understanding and enjoying yourself. Beating yourself up won’t get you anywhere in life. Try to stop putting yourself down and actually think positively about yourself for once. It isn’t always easy. If you’ve had people telling you you’re ugly, or fat or that you’re useless your entire life it’s hard to forget those voices. To be completely honest with you those voices will probably continue to torment you for the rest of your life, no matter how successful or how happy you become they will probably always be there. What you need to do is find a way to live with the voices. Find a way to tell the voices who’s boss. To disarm the hurtful words you’ve heard so many times. If you are struggling to be proud of yourself try this. Every time you think something negative about yourself think of three positive things. Like this…
Negative: I have a bad memory.
1 Positive: I am kind to other people.
2 Positive: I have good skin.
3 Positive: I have great taste in music.
I think it’s also a good idea to find a solution to the negative thought’s if you do have a bad memory think of ways to make your memory better. Have a notepad and write notes to yourself so you remember to do everything that is required of you.
It’s hard to say exactly who you are because the world around you is always changing and as it changes so do you. Your situation changes and so will you. If you like me have been spending too much time thinking about who you are it’s time to stop. Life is full of enough pressure. You don’t need to be anything or live up to anyone’s expectations. You just need to do what makes you feel good. Do what makes you feel confident. Believe in yourself. Know you have what it takes to improve daily. Understand that you are a work in progress but if you were perfect there would be no need for your existence. Next time someone rains on your parade put your umbrella up, keep on smiling and remember nobody else knows you the way you do.