Today I came across a quote which I think everyone should live by. The quote reads “I am who I am you approval is not needed.” Social media has added an extra cyber level of pressure that we need to live up to. The spans further than the internet though. When was the last time you were wearing an outfit that you thought was fun, or comfortable and you had someone giving you a sideways look because of what you were wearing. The feeling of being judged is one of the worst feelings. While it is easy to say don’t let someone judge you it’s hared in reality to forget or move past the judgement that has occurred. Don’t fall into the trap of living to someone else’s expectations, whether it be family friends or somebody who you’re in a relationship with.
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while you will know that being in a relationship is something that has always been important to me. I guess it was the fear of getting old and being lonely. Recently being in a relationship has become less and less important to me. I just got back from a trip to America which I spent my time 50/50 by myself and traveling with a friend. While it was incredible to have that friend there and share those memories it was an amazing experience travelling by myself. It is something that I would recommend to everyone. I think the most empowering moments in life are the moments when we realise we don’t rely on anyone else for anything. When you realise you can live day to day independently it is amazing. When I say I am living independently this comes with some restrictions. Obviously I am on the other side of the planet and I require a trip to the grocery store for food. When I say independence I mean spiritual independence. You aren’t relying on someone for company or for someone to do activities with. You feel comfortable enough in yourself to go to the theatre by yourself. You are happy to navigate your way around the city with only the help from google maps. I have been telling myself for a long time that I don’t need to be in a relationship however I didn’t truly believe it. It was almost like I was trying to trick myself into thinking that’s not what I need.
For you being in a relationship might be important and that is totally fine. I am not saying my experience with life is more important than yours and that you should try and live your life to be like me. If you’ve found that person that encourages you and builds you up that is amazing keep them close but remember that you’re not living life for them. Sometimes in relationships we lose sight of out true identity. Sometimes in the heat of the moment we don’t realise how much of ourselves we are sacrificing trying to make someone else happy. The most important thing you can do is be yourself. If you have to talk differently, dress differently or act differently this isn’t a healthy relationship. You shouldn’t ever feel like you need to suppress yourself. You energy is isn’t annoying your unique style isn’t strange and the things that make you happy might not be the things that make your partner happy but they should show an interest in what you are doing. Where did it all go wrong? How can you fix it? Will it ever be the same? All valid questions. All important questions you need to ask yourself. You might find the answers to these questions or maybe you won’t. Nobody can tell you what to do or what is right. Sometimes we have to learn the hard way. Sometimes we have to put our heart on the line and have it broken. Your heart might get broken time and time again if you still want to make it work that is a decision only you can come to. You might eventually find that the pain is too much and that this is a situation you need to walk away from. What ever decision you make this is one of the most exciting times. You have an opportunity to turn a new leaf with that special someone and to make something beautiful of what you have. If you decide to branch out and start fresh there is literally a world of possibilities out there. Grab life with two hands and do everything you’ve always dreamed of. Visit those places you’ve wanted to go, call the friends you haven’t seen in months.
Change can be scary but sometimes change is the push in the right direction we need to make our dreams come true. Never sacrifice your own dreams to try and help someone else reach theirs. You deserve your own success. You deserve to make your own decisions. You don’t need to live up to someone else’s expectations. Be what ever makes you happy. Wear what ever makes you happy and most importantly spend time with people who make you happy. We’ve only got one shot. It’s never going to be perfect but you’ve got every opportunity to make it awesome.