Valentine’s Day is a weird day. Personally I find it especially weird because I was dumped on Valentine’s Day. I don’t ever remember dates so it’s a big deal that I remember this date. I think this was different to any other relationship I have ever been in. In all honesty I haven’t really been in any sort of relationship since. I guess the motivation section of my blog has been a bit quiet lately. For a long time I was using my blog as an emotional outlet. I was putting my thoughts down and it was a way for me to understand what I was going through emotionally. Right now I am in a great place. I am loving life, enjoying my job and am currently on a skiing holiday but a little piece of me still feels weird about this day.
This break up happened two years ago and of course there are days that I still think about this person. Part of me never wants to see them again part of me wants to be best friends with them still. That’s what makes life so interesting you never really know what to do you’ve just got to try and if it feels right then roll with that. Break up’s are such a random thing. In the moment it is bad. There is nothing positive about a break up. Even if the relationship wasn’t healthy a break up hurts because you in your head know what it could have been. You know what it should have been and for what ever reason that isn’t the reality. I think we end a lot of our relationships walking on egg shells. You never want to hurt somebody so you tip toe around the real issue and come up with some kind of excuse the classic “It’s me not you” scenario. I think it’s time to grow some balls. It’s time to face life front on. Stop being so scared of hurting somebody’s feelings. One of the hardest things in the break up I experienced was not knowing. Not knowing if I had done something wrong. If there ever was any feelings. If the relationship ever was actually going anywhere. I guess that was the most horrible feeling. When I think about it now there was some tell tail signs which I probably should have seen but when you’re in the moment and you love someone it’s not that simple.
If you have been through a break up yourself and you’re feeling lonely or sad I think the most important thing to remember is that you have an opportunity. You have an opportunity to heal and an opportunity to grow. You’ve got the potential to realise your true worth and if somebody didn’t appreciate that for what ever reason this is your time to shine. I don’t believe in revenge bodies or trying to keep up an image to make somebody else jealous. That is petty and you’re better than that. Sure if you want to work out, work out but do it for you. If you’re posting on social media do it for you. That’s actually great advice for any part of life. You shouldn’t ever be doing something to impress someone. You should be doing things that make you happy. I’m not saying that you should be selfish you can still do things for other people but don’t put 100% of your worth in somebody else. You are more than just a relationship. You are more than just a partner. You have more potential than you know. This is the world’s biggest cliche but for every door that closes another one opens. Open as many doors as you possibly can. Always look towards the future. Progress isn’t looking back.
I guess what I want you to take away from this is that sometimes you have to live a little. You need to take risks. You can live you life taking the safe option but where is that going to get you. When Neil Armstrong stood on the moon do you think he had doubts about it? Of course he did. What he did next was the important part. He overcame the doubt and the obstacles standing in his way and was the first man to ever stand on the moon. Chances are you won’t be landing on the moon but the feeling of being in love is out of this world so you might as well be.
In the past 2 years I have come to realise that love doesn’t have to be a romantic physical thing. You’ve got friends who love you and would do anything for you. They enjoy being around you as much as you enjoy being around them. Why spend $100 on a dinner with someone from tinder that you might not ever see again. Take your friend out for dinner, you won’t have to discuss how many siblings you’ve got or how long you’ve been in your current job… or what you do for that matter. Honestly there’s something refreshing about a no expectations dinner with someone you love.
Learning to love myself has been a massive part of this as well. I am not perfect and for sure I still have days where I’d rather be anyone else on the plant than myself but again that’s just a part of living. We only have one life we have to make the most of it. Yeah it won’t always be rainbows and butterflies but smile and you’re half way there. Worry less about what people think of you and think more of what you think about yourself. We are all working on things, we all have insecurities. Embrace them. That geekiness makes you you. Your intriguing mind is a mind that other people like to encounter. Actually your frame of mind is one of the most important things in your day to day life. Think negative thoughts and the world around you will turn negative. I can’t stress how important it is to embrace the world around you. It might be as simple as seeing a duck floating in a river. It might be as simple as saying hello to a random stranger walking past. Chances of seeing this person again are slim but your “hello” could be the difference between a good day and a bad day for them. I like to think of life as an opportunity to leave a trail of positivity. Hopefully your positive actions today will lead others to positive actions tomorrow. Say hello to someone today, maybe they will say hello to someone tomorrow and so on and so fourth. Loving yourself isn’t arrogant. Back yourself, believe in what you do and most importantly allow yourself time to yourself. To think, write, read, listen to music or exercise.
Well it’s almost midnight here in Canada so I better get some sleep but I just wanted to check in and make sure that your Valentine’s Day is going well. If you’re spending it alone let’s spend it together! If you’re spending it with someone special GO YOU! Somebody sees something in you that I hope you see in yourself.