Today I was driving down the motorway when a song came on. It was a song that I have listened to a lot. By no means is it new but for some reason all of a sudden I understood the perspective of the song and on another level. The song is from Little Mix’s ‘Get Weird’ album the title is “Love Me Or Leave Me” I have no idea why today was the day this song connected with me but for some reason it gave me a moment of clarity. Mental clarity is one of the most powerful feelings we can experience as humans but it isn’t something we feel often. Life goes by at 100 miles per hour. We are so busy trying to live life and figure ourselves out that I feel sometimes we miss something so glaringly obvious that is right in front of us. I was driving down the motorway at 100 KM per hour when suddenly the pain I had been feeling for the past two year was summed up so simply in a song. The hours of anger, the moments of feeling worthless and the days I spent confused all seemed worthwhile for a brief moment.
Have you ever been in a relationship that ended but really it didn’t end. For what ever reason you can’t let each other go. The thought of seeing that person with someone else hurts too much. They don’t know if breaking up with you was the right decision. What ever the situation is the months of confusion that follow are enough to do your head in. The days, weeks, months and sometimes even years pass by, you still don’t understand why but eventually you will get to a point where you just have to let it go. Letting go is hard you don’t want to lose this person they meant a lot to you but in all honesty sometimes you’ve just got to do what is right by you.
The thing you need to remember is that you should always put yourself first in these situations. If this person wants to see you think about the effect it will have. Think about the last time you saw each other did you walk away from that experience feeling positive about yourself. Did you enjoy spending time with them? Do they really care about you and sustaining that friendship. Are they blurring the lines between friendship and something more. Do you walk away from hanging out with them just feeling confused? These are all extremely important things you need to think about. When you love someone it is so easy to put their needs before your own. Can I be really honest with you for a minute. They aren’t putting your needs first. It isn’t fair for someone to tell you that they don’t want to be with you and then string you along for months. It isn’t ok for them to want you there when it suits them but remind you that “you’re only friends.” Friends don’t kiss you. In an ideal world you would be friends. You would hang out, talk about new friends and relationships and you would be happy for each other and the progress you’re making. Unfortunately it isn’t possible to be friends with every partner you break up with. Maybe in the future you can be friends but sometimes you need to take some time for yourself and deal with the emotions and feelings that you’ve experienced.
Ok this is turning into a bit of a tangent but the main point I am trying to make is there is a lyric in this song which I wish I thought about a long time ago. The lyric is “You can take this heart, heal it all or break it all apart. No, this isn’t fair. Love me or leave me here.” This lyric really spoke to me. If you yourself are going through an experience where someone doesn’t really know what they want sometimes you have to call the shots yourself. It is one of the scariest things but can I tell you something. It’s never going to change. This person that you love and would do anything for doesn’t feel the same. There is someone out there who is going to treat you right. There is someone out there who is waiting to love you. There is somebody who wants to love you. You deserve to feel that love. You deserve to be happy. Walking away from someone isn’t a bad thing. You might have had the most beautiful connection. You might have thought you’d spend the rest of your life with that person. That thought might upset you but the truth is it speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. You wear your heart on you sleeve you’re not afraid to tell someone how you’re feeling.
The thing I love about this song is the honesty it delivers. The fact that it’s not ok for another human to control your heart like that. It’s pretty simple really love me or leave me. This person doesn’t get you when they want you. They don’t get to text you in the middle of the night when they’re feeling lonely. They can’t slide into your DMs when they’ve slid into other people’s DMs and had no luck. You deserve the respect of knowing where you stand with each other. You deserve the closure. Unfortunately life isn’t always fair sometimes you don’t get that closure sometimes you don’t get the respect that you deserve. Know this. You will feel broken. You will feel hurt but you will rise. You will rise above and you will love again. You will love until your heart is so full of love that you never stop loving. There will be days you question your worth. There will be days where you don’t want to get out of bed but know that things will get better. If you love yourself half as much as you loved that person you will be just fine.