You Do You

Today is the last day of May which is freaking me out. June 1st means we are officially half way through 2018. How is that even possible. I want to write this blog because I feel like each day is an opportunity, each new month is a fresh start and with a milestone comes the ability to reflect. It’s important that we reflect so that we know we are making progress. If I am being completely honest the first Half of 2018 hasn’t really been that productive. I’ve been on a roundabout and haven’t been able to decide which exit to take. Nobody can make decisions for you. If you want to make something happen in your life you’re the driver decide which exit to take. Put your indicator on and get off that roundabout.

If you’re like me and you’re an over thinker you will understand how hard it is to make a decision. While you see overthinking as a negative with each negative comes a positive. Being an over thinker isn’t a bad thing. Yeah you might catch feels faster than some people, but can you tell me when you heard someone complaining that someone cares about them too much? Over-thinkers are so busy thinking about every scenario and situation when it comes to friendships and relationships it’s the over thinkers that go the extra mile for the special people in their lives. You’re probably that person your friends would call any hour of the night because you’re reliable.

I’ve been trying to avoid relationships this year. The last relationship I was in shook me up and it’s taken some time to heal. If you can imagine life before an earthquake each morning you wake up, the sun rises and you can count on the ground being there. When an earthquake happens the ground moves. The one thing that has been there day in, day out has moved and you don’t have any explanation (yeah tectonic plates but go with the metaphor). Break ups are like earthquakes. You get used to someone being there, you enjoy their company, your lives become intertwined. When that relationship ends it’s as though the ground has moved. You have to get used to the new normal. Yes life goes on but there’s a part of you that is missing. The person you’d look forward to seeing at the end of the day isn’t the person that you look forward to seeing anymore. Of course it takes some getting used to and there’s no right or wrong way of coping with it. Personally I’ve tried it all. I tried dating but rather than the distraction I was hoping for I just ended up thinking about that person more. I tried not dating anyone but it felt like there was something missing. Throughout this process there have been people helping me along the way giving me advice. It’s nice to have the love and support of friends but to be honest when it comes to relationships sometimes you just have to work it out for yourself. It’s a bit like university they try and teach you everything you need to know to put the right foot forward when you start working for a company but in reality the best way to learn is to just get out there in the field and do it. You can get all the advice in the world but to know if it’s going to work you really just need to get out there and try. If it feels good then you’re onto a good thing. If it wasn’t everything you hoped it would be go back to the drawing board and try something else.

After many weeks, months and if I’m honest with you a couple of years I have come to this conclusion. People will tell you that you don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. They are right. People will tell you that you are doing so well in your career, chances are they are right too. You will begin to feel happy and that you are going places. GOOD ON YOU! That is awesome long may it last. Eventually you will think, wow I wish I had someone to share this with. What an amazing place to be at. You’re so content with everything in life that you’re wanting to share your experiences with someone else. Humans are hard wired to desire relationships. Of course there is always an exception to the rule and if you have no interest in being in a relationship let me save you the time of reading the rest of this blog. There is this massive movement of being independent. I love it, it’s so empowering but don’t ever be ashamed of wanting to be in a relationship. Don’t ever hide your desire to care for someone else. Life is short, make the most of it. If there is something you want go get it. Relationships are hard because it’s not something that is going to come easy. You can’t force a relationship and you can’t just make it happen but put it out to the universe. Write it down, say it out loud. It’s crazy what can happen if you put your trust into the universe providing. I think that’s the coolest thing about relationships in a lifetime you experience a few of them but when they work it really is magical. It’s a lot like a fireworks display everything about it is screaming run but for some reason you stay and it really is so beautiful. There is an element of danger with fireworks it’s the risk of being burnt, in a relationship it’s the risk of having your heart broken. Two different types of pain buy you guessed it they both hurt. You could live your life avoiding risk and never experience anything or you could go out there give it your best shot and hope with everything that it all works out.

Don’t let the someone else’s idea of life change what you want for yours. There’s a reason we are all different. There is a reason why nobody has the same thought process that you do. Nobody has experienced the things that you have and that’s what makes you so special. If you’ve been through a bad dating experience I want you to remember that not everyone is the same. Just because your last relationship didn’t work out it doesn’t mean that the next one won’t. In life we have to take risks. Do you think Donal Trump became president without taking risks. I can promise you that he has taken risks. Sometimes I wish he didn’t but the fact of the matter is he did and now he is the president of The United States.

I guess the thing I want you to take away from this barrage of words is that nobody can tell you how to live life, you must search for your own answers. If you’ve been hurt in the past you can’t live the rest of your life in fear, you might get hurt again but then again you might find your happily ever after. The most important thing is to make the most of every moment. We only have one life. Experience as much as you possibly can. If you have someone to share those experiences with I am super happy for you hug them just a little bit tighter today. If you haven’t found that person know that they are out there and they will be just as excited to meet you as you are them.

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