Recovering is an interesting prospect. The definition of recover is – return to a normal state of health, mind or strength. While recovering is a process do you ever really get there? I am not asking you this to deter you. It’s more of a challenge. We are all broken, we’ve all been hurt and I think sometimes we forget our worth. It’s easy to watch the days come and go and get lost in our thoughts. We dream up these situations which in reality are a little bit crazy. I think that is one of the most beautiful things about humans. Whether we admit it or not we are all a little bit crazy. Some more than others. I am on the high end of the spectrum for sure. While I wonder if we ever do recover I can’t help but wonder if it’s naive to think that we can get over something. If someone betrays your trust of course you can forgive them but do you actually recover from it? Personally I don’t think you do. There will always be that murmur in the back of your mind wondering if they’re going to do it again. You might be able to live with the thought of it happening again you might be able to live with the pain of feeling betrayed but I don’t think you can actually recover from it. This can be said for many things in life.
A broken heart. One of the worst feelings in life. You are grieving the loss of someone who isn’t dead. When you think about it like that it’s a whole new level of confusion. But trust me when I say this. You get used to someone being there but do you remember how your life was before they were there? Did you get by? Of course you did because you had no idea that this person was out there. Eventually you will learn to remember what life was like without them. You will sometimes still think of that person and maybe wonder how they are or where they are but that somebody will eventually just be “Somebody that you used to know.” Again I don’t think this is something you can simply get over. It’s more a moment of appreciating what something was. Understanding that for what ever reason it wasn’t right and recognising that it isn’t what is meant for you. In time you will feel strong again and you will spend time getting to know somebody else. Don’t rush it. This is your life go at your own pace. Feel it out. You will know what feels right. Trust your instincts.
The lost friend. Friends are a hard one because you get so attached to them. They become a member of your family. You love them, yeah it might not be physical but the emotion is well and truly there. Whether it be a simple move overseas a change in a friend group or even a situation where a close friend finds a partner and they’re spending more time together and you’re feeling a bit left out. All of these situations are totally natural things to feel. Take time for yourself you’re allowed to grieve the loss of a friend. You’re allowed to feel sad about a change in a friendship. Try not to take out the situation on your friend though. In my experience lashing out only triggers the anxiety and that’s a whole other story. Try to remain calm even when you’re feeling the most frustrated. Deep breaths and try and understand how things might look from their perspective which isn’t always easy.
The work force is a great place for recovery. Whether it be a “No” from a job application, your job being disestablished or being forced into a role that you don’t really want to do. In all honesty these are all experiences that I have come across in the past 7 years of my working life. If you’ve applied for a job and you weren’t successful you’ve got every right to ask for feedback on your application and what you could do to improve your chances of getting the role in the future. This shows initiative and if you ever apply for a role with the same company I think is a good look. It shows that you’re dedicated and willing to learn and grow. A massive bonus for a future employer. If your job has been disestablished that is a horrible situation to be in but remember you got your current role for a reason and often it’s not actually anything to do with what you’re capable of doing it’s more from a financial perspective or trying to streamline the company. I’ve said it many times and I will say it again there will be something that Is perfect for you just around the corner. Sometimes that dream job doesn’t present itself right away. Sometimes you have to do a role that you’re not 100% passionate about. Be patient the right thing will come along. You will find your passion and everything will be ok. Give it your best shot and just think how amazing it will be when the right thing does come along.
Ok this is real talk time. You aren’t living if you get through life without having a broken heart. I hate to break it to you but you might want to check your pulse if you’ve never had a bad day. Each day is a challenge but trust that you will eventually find your way. Do more of the things you love and find time to explore your worth. Try to focus less on what other people think of you and find that worth internally. Treat people with kindness and see that kindness does win. We are all here with a purpose and it’s totally fine to not know what that is yet. It’s ok to feel lost. There will be days you don’t want to get out of bed. Don’t expect too much of yourself. In moments of stress try and breathe. Moments are like days they come and they go. Emotion is the same what ever you are feeling will go.
There’s enough words on this page as it is but before I go. I attempted to write a poem. Can’t promise anything but this is how it goes…
That relationship that you thought would be some fun, didn’t work out but there will be another one.
It will come at a time when the moment is right, who knows maybe they’re already in your sight.
The friend you thought would be there for life, didn’t get the memo and that’s alright.
Friends are like seasons, they come and they go, but don’t you worry, the best things in life are the things you don’t know.
That job that you wanted but didn’t retain, never fear their loss is quite often your gain.
As the days come and the nights go, remember my friend your dreams can grow.
What happens next, nobody knows but life’s an adventure just go with the flow.
When you fall get back up, shake it off and learn to love.
Life is a ride, there’s no need to hide.
Grab the keys it’s time to drive.
Thanks for listening to this jumble of words if you’re like me and don’t really like reading here’s a brief summary. Recovery. It’s a process. It’s something we are all experiencing. Like is like a book there is a start a middle and an end. The thing we have to learn is that the middle has many twists and turns. It’s probably more like a soap opera than a book. Books seem a little more simple, have a little more structure. Life is so unknown. It will take you by surprise. Break you down. But always know it will build you back up again.
Sending love and hugs always.
This post was inspired by Celine Dion’s track “Recovering” written by Pink.