Brain Dump.

Wow it has been a minute. Sorry I have no posted on here in so long. I have no idea what this blog is going to be, where it has come from or even what it is going to be about but I guess a lot has happened since I last wrote on here. I don’t so much write these blogs for any reason it’s more a little brain dump and I hope that sometimes there will be something that resinates with you. I find life to be rather confusing if I am completely honest. There is no manual, no right or wrong way to live we are all just out here trying to find our way. Trying to find our purpose. Trying to find the thing or things the we are most passionate about. Of course we will have good days, bad days and sometimes we will have days that are neither good nor bad. They are just days that happen.

I want to be honest the real reason I haven’t posted on here in so long is I don’t really know where I am at. I don’t really know what is missing but it definitely does feel like something is missing which is weird because I am very lucky and a lot of things I have always wanted have happened in the last couple of years. I couldn’t remember the last time I wrote a blog so I decided to go back and have a look. My last post was January 8, the beginning of the year. I had a lot that I wanted to achieve this year and it turns out I haven’t done any of the things that I wanted to and I think that is the main reason why I am feeling the way I am right now. It’s October, the end of the year is looming and I do feel like I have failed myself if I am being completely honest with you. I have failed to reach a lot of the goals I had set at the beginning of the year. Maybe some of the reason I haven’t achieved these goals is because I never wrote them down. I never held myself accountable for what I wanted to achieve. I believe in living life, I believe that happiness is the ultimate goal and that you can’t spend your entire life just working which I think hasn’t helped me get to the place I would like to be.

Organisation – It’s never been a strong point of mine but it is always something I will be able to improve on. I think when trying to get better at something it’s important to set smaller goals so you feel like you’re having success along the way. If you’re applying for a new job the ultimate goal is finding something that will improve your happiness. Chances are you’re not going to find that job overnight. What you can do is set up notifications on Trademe or Seek (job websites if you don’t live in NZ) so that when jobs in your category come up you are aware of them. Maybe set a goal like I will apply for 2 jobs this week. Even if the job isn’t exactly what you are looking for it is great practice to write a cover letter, do the interview process and remember the skills you need for when the right job does pop up. Try and make small changes to your life so you are feeling good about yourself. A clear bedroom is a clear mind. Try to declutter as much as possible both literally and metaphorically. When you can keep on top of things. Clean your room once a week, stay on top of washing. I sound like your mum right now but honestly sometimes when you feel your life is in order it really helps you feel the clarity that you might desire.

Will Power – Will power is something I think we could all get better at. We all have that friend who is really good at sticking to their word. Sticking to your word requires you to say no sometimes. You need to learn to say no when you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s important that you don’t over commit yourself. It’s better to do a few things and do them well than spread yourself thin and not be proud of what ever it is that you are producing. Will power is having an idea and sticking to it. It’s not allowing yourself to get distracted and to slip into bad habits again. We all make mistakes, we all have our bad days so try to stay on the horse and keep on riding. You might get fomo from time to time but that too shall pass. Think about the bigger picture and what ever that end goal might be. You might not know your end goal right now and that’s ok too but think about how the small changes today might influence what that end goal may look like in the future.

Considing the future – I am such a live in the now person. It’s hard for me to think about the future because I live life day to day. I don’t like to plan things ahead of time. I prefer to make spontaneous plans and roll with it. There are some things that really do require some planning, some forward thought. If you aren’t thinking ahead it is very hard to plan these things. While you might be a spontaneous person and you might like to live each day as it comes you really do need to set boundaries. You need to have consequences if you breach these boundaries. Life should be fun but sometimes you have to own up to what you’re not achieving. If saving money is something you would like to do but you have a blow out and you don’t save money one week you need to take the money from the next week’s disposable income. Own up to it acknowledge that you didn’t meet your target and try to make up for it in the next week/month of your budget. If you don’t have a budget that is a great place to start. Think about every expense you have write it down. Break down you pay cheque week to week, fortnight to fortnight or month to month and be accountable for your spending. It might help to get cash out. Once you have spent your money, you have spent your money and you can’t just transfer some more funds over from another account. Take ownership of your spending and think about how the future will look if you make small sacrifices today.

Relationships aren’t everything. Being in a relationship isn’t going to fix you, or the way that you are feeling. While it might be nice to have some special company my advice is to focus on the friendships that you have. Sometimes it’s nice to escape reality and spend some time with someone you don’t know so well and there is nothing wrong with that. In my experience it’s actually better to acknowledge how you’re feeling and see it eye to eye. If you’re feeling lonely reach out to the people you love the most and spend quality time with them. Try to spend less time on your phone and looking at social media. It is so easy to fall into the trap of seeing people’s lives on social media, remember that is not a real representation of their life. Social media is a highlights reel. I know you would have heard that a thousand times, it’s becoming bit of a cliché but it is the truth. I kinda think it would be really cool if everyone live streamed an entire day in their life so you could get a glimpse at what their actual day looks like. I feel extremely lucky to work in a job where the people I work with are all amazing. I work with a lot of my best friends and a lot of the time it is so much fun. Like any job there definitely are the off days. Every single person that inhabits earth has days where they don’t feel themselves. Where nothing they do seems to go right. We all have those moments where we wonder if we are in the right profession. That is totally “normal.” I hate using the word normal because “normal” is different to everyone. Nobody knows all of the things you have experienced. Nobody know’s what a day in your life truly feels like and that is ok. You will get frustrated. There will be days when you feel like you have more to offer than what you are giving. You will feel frustrated sometimes and you will wish you could do more now. Good things do take time and if you continue to work hard you will see the benefits you have been hoping for.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that it is ok to be frustrated. It is ok to wonder if what you are doing is right. The truth is there is no real way to tell. What I can tell you is. Hard work pays off. Kindness is everything. Be kind to the people around you and definitely be kind to yourself. Your time might not be happening yet but it will happen and don’t ever forget it. Steve Jobs didn’t make the iPhone in one day. Neil Armstrong didn’t get to the moon on his own. Reach out for help when you need it. Give support when you can. Keep an open mind and wear your heart on your sleeve. It is ok to not be ok but remember also to celebrate your successes.

If there is one thing you take away from reading this I want you to always remember that the road you’re travelling is a long road. There won’t always be signs to point you in the right direction but eventually you will find your destination. It might take some time so ensure you have some fun along the way. Always know that I will always be here to celebrate your wins with you and I really hope you find that thing that makes your heart sing.

Much love

Cam.

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